So…, many people have been asking…where’s Cali Dreamin’ at? There is an increase lack of presence all over town and social media. Yeah, I get it…I am a blogger and a writer and can’t even keep up with my blog, social media, and life. Honestly, this last year has kind of kicked my ass. I took a lot time to sort some things out in life. I literally feel like there isn’t anything I haven’t experienced within the last couple years. The beautiful thing is, I have learned from it and grown significantly.
I have been sick and tired of being sick and tired for way too many years. Poor choices, poor people, being poor, and just feeling poor. Throughout the years, I have always been a caregiver, putting others before myself, making not the greatest adult life decisions, but also giving friendship to friends who have used and abused me, friends who I thought were best friends, but only to find out via social media or accident that our friendship was not what it appeared to be. I have just been tired of being surrounded and allowing into my life, far too many uninspired, unmotivated, closed minded, negative, and just all around shitty people.
When you are constantly stuck and surrounded by negativity, it consumes your body like poison, deteriorating your soul. Its toxin…literally. Now, I will take full responsibility of the 99.9% of toxin in my life.
Even though it feels like hell, when you step back and look at life and the way things happen, they shape you in this magical kind of way. Recently, I left my job at the college after working there for 4 ½ years. Day after day, I woke up going to work mostly miserable. I went to class Monday-Thursday nights and was just beat. The college was a great place to work because it exposed me to so many things, people, and actual struggles of life. However, it dragged me down. My students and co-workers motivated me and inspired me but the politics of the upper education were too bad for anyone. When the previous Vice President announced his retirement, I knew it was time for me to move on and find a change. After forgetting I had even applied to a position for a magazine in the citrus industry, I got interviewed and landed the job departing from the college and starting a new job and life January 18th.
I'm exhausted, tired, and always stressed out. I get tired of the grind. I get tired of working so hard just to make ends meet. But the grind makes the hustle and the hustle shapes you. My best friend Monica is one of the most hardworking, loving, giving persons on this planet. When I was younger, and mostly in denial, I never understood how she juggled working three jobs, helping her mom train barrel horses, going to cosmetology school and competing in professional barrel racings and open jackpots. I never understood her madness until I started working full-time, going to school full-time, writing, having many hands in the honey pot, and just even trying to have a life.
Now, many times she tells me to slow down and take care of myself and do more things for myself. It seems nearly impossible to do that when you are trying to be successful, educated, a self-made millionaire and entrepreneur (working on some California Dreamin’ brands and businesses), and diverse journalist.
Mostly, I have been trying to get my priorities straight. I am at a point in my life that I really just can’t deal with friends, people, and even the environment that doesn’t flow with my life, understand who I am, my work ethic, or even on the same moral or intellectual level.
I’m kind of a nerd and hibernator. When I’m not working or at school, I seriously want to sleep or remove myself from society. A perfect example of this would be a conversation between my bestie Chantelle and me. She would send me a text like:
“Where are you?”
“So, what are you doing?”
“Get your ass up and do something!”
“Fine.” (There would definitely probably be a lot of profanity)
And mostly, I would pull myself out of bed and do something. Sometimes, I just can’t help but remove myself from life and my way is by sleeping – All my closet friends and family know this.
I don’t like watching TV much and I have to be really not-so-stressed out with nothing to do to find the patience to watch a movie. It’s not that I don’t like TV or movies, it’s that I feel like I should be doing something. If I have time to sit down and watch TV, then I am being lazy or wasting away and I absolutely hate when that feeling crawls into my body. I want to be able to watch TV as a joy, a pleasure, a reward even. Sit down, relax, and eat junk food – for me, it’s a problem when you make a routine out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love Modern Family, 2 Broke Girls, Sex in the City, and the Big Bang Theory. And when I say love them I mean like LOOOVE these shows. I truly connect with each one or feel like my life, people in my life, or an experience is sometimes what I’m watching. I love that because a Screen Writer wrote them and that means either they experienced it or knew someone who experienced it. Anyways, that’s a whole different topic for another day about my love hate relationship with television.
I really despise social media in all the negative ways it plays in society. Social media in all reality is quite amazing, astonishing and powerful when used as a tool. The social media revolution is known as the biggest shift since the industrial revolution. Research shows that there is approximately 2.5 billion Facebook users. Of those, 65 million users access their social media networks from their phones. I mean people create friendships, lives' together, business partners, and empires through social media. But the hate. Omg, the hate that has evolved and been created throughout our society and the lack of human interaction is sickening.
A perfect example is when Kayne and Wiz fought via social media. (Of course,Wiz is my number one but really,)You are men – famous men who know each other and are striving in a competitive and huge industry while you both have created your own signature empires. Rise above the hate and work together or if you have an issue don’t air your dirty laundry. It’s petty and childish. But social media is another topic I will touch on later. This is my excuse for my lack of social media due to others souring and poisoning my news feeds with their behavior on social media platforms.
Ultimately, I am trying to survive. The struggle is real. I have had a lot of really encouraging and supportive advice and wise words of influential people and business men/women in various industries. It’s rather humbling and inspiring when so many believe in and support you. Not too long ago, I reached out to a very successful and reputable man in the rodeo and media industry. He told me that I’m different and one of the most unique writers he had seen – If he liked the story I told, well then anyone would like it. He told me I’m a thinker – a deep thinker. He told me "not to hide Amy and to strip myself down and put myself out there." He specifically told me, “AMY, you keep being AMY – and put AMY on paper for the rest of us to know in whatever set of words you want to use.” This for me was astronomically jaw dropping and humbling because not only was I honored, I learned from him and was exposed to not only what he thought but probably what 99% of what others thought. He also put me in check focusing on my neglect in not writing enough, not taking enough risks, and not gearing towards topics that can be a little controversial. He’s right. I should be writing 2,000 minimum words a day to become the best. This lit a whole new fire inside of me!
The most ultimate reward is when someone I interviewed empowers me and falls in love with the story I recreated and painted for the reader. It is the ultimate satisfaction and I literally am never satisfied with the work I produce. Then when a reader reaches out to me and compliments me or connects to a story, I feel like my purpose is actual valuable.
So, I make a promise to you, my readers, and to myself to be better. I have a lot of plans and topics I would like to touch on within the blog. I like to nerd out and like to be open and diverse to a lot of things from psychology, to science, relationships, music, beauty, fashion, rodeo, anything and everything honestly. I want my readers to interact with me and tell me what they want to hear from me, want to read, or give me ideas and topics. I want to incorporate giveaways, beauty hauls, contest, and just fun interaction in social media while using social media as a positive outlet and making California Dreamin’ another full-time job.
In part of Riff Raff’s song Time, he says: “If you don’t slow down and realize where you are going, you might lose everything. ‘Cus time goes by, and it goes on, and it don’t stop.”
My need for constant success is due to time – I don’t ever have enough time, but I guess I can sleep when I die. Sometimes though, we just have to stop and smell the roses and look around and admire nature and realize how blessed we really are.
Keep striving, hustling, and struggling, stop making excuses because someday, our hard work will pay off. Don’t let negative, unmotivated, mean, jealous people get to you. Don’t feed into any negativity and rise above all the bullshit. My favorite quote by Steve Jobs reads, “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful, that's what matters to me.”
I want to wake up every day and do and write wonderful things. I want to inspire, help, motivate, and connect with people while creating and writing bad ass content.
Well, I gotta go walk my Unicorn and fantasize about my toes being in the sand.
Now, let’s go be bad asses!
Peace and Love.