Twenty-fourteen has been quite the year. Reflecting on my year, I am so proud of the life that I have created for myself. I feel like there was literally nothing I didn't experience - negative and positive. Mind you, I will refrain from the negativity of last year. As I currently write this, I am listening to "Skinny Love" Vanic Remix by Birdy, while tears run down my cheeks; happy tears, sad tears, but mostly proud tears.
The best part of 2014 was having the challenge and journey of finding myself and realizing my self worth, who I really am, and what I strive to do while living life outside my comfort zone. Over the last 4 months, my journey in life has been not only a challenge but a blessing. In 4 months, I learned more about life than I have in 25 years. I've learned more about myself and my purpose for this life. You see, I have been going through life living for other people, doing things for others, and living in mediocrity. Mediocrity for me is like eating a tomato. The thought of eating a tomato for me is like one of the most torturous miserable things in this universe. So, mediocrity is miserable and unacceptable in my life. Given this opportunity to change the mediocrity drastically is so precious to me.
My writing and blog has been one of the most inspiring and motivating obstacles that I conquered. The opportunities I was given last year not only boosted my writing career but taught me so many things. I was challenged beyond my own tolerance and stress levels on some writing assignments and was able to prove to myself what I am really capable of. Being able to write for American Cowboy, Cassidy Magazine, Bakersfield Magazine, Roper's Sports News, and The Real American Cowboy Magazine is so big for me. I am so thankful for the people that continue to give me endless opportunities and challenge me while pushing myself to higher levels.
The most touching and biggest accomplishment of all is being able to share my life experiences through my blog and actually having the most special and inspiring feedback. Swallowing my pride, I dug down deep and decided that I wanted more from my writing. I wanted to change peoples' lives. I wanted to inspire, relate, motivate, encourage, put a smile on someone's face…anybody's face, but most importantly I wanted someone to read my writing and feel better, feel like we connected and related and when they were done reading it, they felt better and maybe even happier or alive. Achieving this goal has been one of the most self-satisfaction of my life. Do you know how amazing it feels when women write me, text me, call me and tell me, "Thank you. Thank you for making me feel better," or "Thank you for writing you have been such a motivation and inspiration to me." As I am typing this, my eyes are filled with such emotion, such happy lively emotions; Many emotions I have never felt before….and that is the best part of this all. I want to say thank you for your encouragement, thank you for allowing me to share my experiences and thank you for allowing me to feel something at all. Your words push me to strive beyond what I even knew I wanted or was capable of. You have lit a fire in my heart and it runs through my veins so thick like lava. With that being said, I will be publishing a book by the end of 2015. This feeling and inspiration has flooded my mind with ideas and I have decided that I WILL help change someone's life through my words.
Flourished and surrounded by love in 2014 has awakened my eyes and exposed me to so much more than the word love and what I have been defining as "love." As a hopeless romantic, I am in love with the idea of being in love. I fantasize about the man that will be my ultimate soul mate; the man I will spend the rest of my life with, who will be so proud to call me his wife, who will wine and dine me, show me off to the world, whom I will bring children of my own into this world with, and conquer this life together. This thought and idea is one of the most scariest thoughts and one of the most intoxicating and exciting thought in the world. As I have touched on in prior posts, love is so many things for me. There are so many kinds of loves but the most important is loving myself and I found that. I now know, I am ready and capable to love someone fully and this is so important to me.
The people I have met have changed my life. I have so many friends that it amazes me. Friends who are inspiring, motivating, unique, and most importantly never judge me and are always there when I need to cry, vent, laugh, drink, whatever it may be. Thank you to the ones that have been there through my journey with me and thank you to the ones who are starting this new adventure of 2015 with me. The people that the universe continues to put in my paths are some of the best people anyone could have the pleasure of knowing. However, I have learned that there are many sharks in the ocean but that's okay! I take the experience or person for what it was and move on about it…I appreciate what I was taught, accept it, and release it from my heart. Mind you before learning this lesson, I would dwell, become angry, and allow people to control my energy and feelings. This, I am thankful for because looking at myself in the mirror I am able to really discover my true self and I am sooo proud of this. This took negative people and experiences to expose me to raw and real life in which I have found a better understanding and love for.
Cheers to 2014 and living life in the fast and slow lane. To waking up everyday with an amazing family and friends, giving me opportunities, challenging me, fighting me, and loving me. In 2014, I have fallen in and out of love with life, myself, and people, got a promotion with an awesome company and awesome people whom are my family, wrote for some of the biggest magazines in the western industries, bought a Louis Vuitton, met life long friends who are more family than I would call friends, experienced life in the fast lane through partying, challenged myself beyond my belief, overcame and accepted my battle with depression, bought a new car, partied too hard, our family business landed a TV show with NatGeo, and most importantly I started living in the moment and living life to the fullest.
In 2015, I challenge you and myself to fall in love, read more books, stop relying on social media and expose yourself to real human interaction, wake up and say, "you know what I am going to do something I have never done before today," smile at a stranger, do your research, educate yourself, go one day without complaining, travel, eat food you wouldn't normally, challenge yourself through your wardrobe, do something everyday to push forward to your goals or dreams, believe in yourself, stop worrying and dwelling, try to make the best of every experience, be vulnerable, splurge on something, save money out of every pay check, cross off at least one thing on your bucket list, and most importantly love yourself and know your self -worth.
I have no new years resolutions. I am always a work in progress and I continue to live the adventures of California Dreamin', striving, dreaming, laughing, driving, moving...forward!
There's only one way to go and that's up baby!