What is Love?

by AMY WITT


I was recently out with one of my girlfriends and a good looking man in his early 30's approached me and asked:
          "May I ask you a question?"
          "Sure," I responded with an uneasy smile.
          "I'm sorry but I couldn't help but notice that you weren't wearing a wedding ring. I
           don't understand."
            I laughed at him.
           "Why are you laughing at me," he responded kind of serious.
            I smiled a sheepish smile and batted my eyes, "Because, l have yet to be    
            swept off my feet."
            He tried flattering me for a moment and we made small talk and he smiled and
            ended the conversation with,"Any man would be foolish not to make you  
            theirs." 

I've been asked many times why I'm single, unmarried, 25 year old with no kids. Ultimately, over the last 3 months I have learned not only so much about myself, but people, love, life, and what I WANT. I feel like knowing myself and knowing what I want is probably the most important thing of all. Now, I am no love guru but from personal experiences and situations I am my own personal Patti Stranger.

For many years my friends and brothers have always been harsh on the men I dated. My parents have been acceptant of everyone even if they didn't like them for me; they always welcomed them into our life and their home with open arms and I'm so blessed for parents like that. In my friends' and brothers' eyes either "they're not good enough," not good looking enough, are not educated enough, they don't like them, they're too controlling, or simply, "Amy, you're too good for them." Personally, I don't put a label on anyone anymore; to each ones' own.

I was recently asked why I am not bitter, what I look for in a guy, what I want and all this nonsense, but one question stood out to me, "What is love to you Amy?"

Loving yourself first and knowing yourself worth is the first steps to love. Actually, it is the number one step to love. I don't know the next steps because I haven't found that "handsome man who's swept me off my feet." I've re-lived this same dream over and over again….maybe a fantasy so to speak. I know how it feels in the dream. In reality, I know how it feels in reality…but then again maybe its beyond what I could ever feel. Honestly, working on myself and loving myself has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Self discovery and finding soooo many things about myself has literally been the most amazing and cherished experience I could ever live. 

Do you know how many times I have been stood up? Empty promises and lies? Texts or phone calls not returned? Been told, "Oh, I'm sorry but I'm busy." No, bullshit! No one is too busy. When you really love someone or maybe you don't love them yet but you know that they could potentially be that true love, soul mate or love of your life, you aren't too busy. No one is ever too busy its all in the matter of how bad you want it…you will make it work!

"A man's biggest mistake is allowing another man to make his woman smile; If you love her, another guy should never have a chance. It should be you making her smile!"

So I'm sure you're wondering so Amy, what is love to you?

Life is love. People are love. Fashion is love. Nature, animals, music. Love is literally everywhere. I am in love with so many things. I am in love with so many people. Love literally surrounds me and is filled in my body. It took me many years to feel the love I do now for people, things, and myself. My eyes are filled with love and my heart is full. Love is love.

When two people fall in love, the love is indescribable. There is not one thing that will get in the way. They will be soul mates, each others' confidants, best friends, biggest supporter, motivate them, inspire them, and put each other on a pedestal. A healthy vibrant love filled with mutual respect, admiration, and positivity pushing each other to the next level and embracing each others' weaknesses, strengths, and talents. Communication is key and a beautiful life in the bedroom is important. My mom has always told me, "Sex daily!" As uncomfortable as that was growing up, she's right!  I appreciate my mother's open heart to me which has helped me become the woman I am today. (Thank god for her.) 

They don't judge you based on your past, your friends, family, what kind of car you drive, how much money you have, or where you live. They will go to the ends of the world for each other and make sacrifices and keep promises. Religion, culture, distance, work, there is nothing that can stand between love! The thing that really urkes my ass is when you hear someone talking about another religion or culture. Not acceptable! Never judge someone based on how they were raised or what they believe in. Love is love and there is nothing that can get in the way!

I need someone who can run free with me and my free untamable soul. I need someone to embrace my spirit, to ignite my talent, and laugh at my stupid nonsensical humor. Who will lay in bed with me all day on Sunday, who doesn't care how long I stay in the bath tub, and how loud I blast my music and dance around like a 5 year old princess. Who appreciates my obsession for Louis Vuitton and fashion, and who drinks Starbucks with me and celebrates my achievements. Someone who is dying to read what I wrote and surprises me with things he knows will make me smile. Who appreciates my annoying "wear my heart on my sleeve, I need to talk to you now because I'm going to have a nervous break down and I'm going to cry" attitude, who doesn't care how long it takes me to get ready, and my need to always buy a new outfit. Who laughs at my temper tantrums and kisses me and makes me laugh when I'm pouting. Someone who will be so proud of me and want to show me off to the world…a man who wants to conquer the world with me and ride in fast luxurious cars, travel around the world, and eat desert before dinner with.

Women, never believe a man who says he is too busy. People make time for who they want to be around! Plain and simple. If a man wants you, he will move mountains for you. Anything less is bullshit, and time to move the fuck on!

To My man who will come swept me off my feet, light my soul on fire, and conquer the world with me, you know where to find me.

With love from the crazy, wild, California blonde.

To be continued...